


Something Always Brings Me Back to You

by orphan_account



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Non permanent death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Minkowski realises her feelings for Lovelace at the worst timeSet from Desperate Times to the end of Into the Depths





	Something Always Brings Me Back to You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [purpleeyesandbowties](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyesandbowties/gifts).



> Hey, so here's my very belated Secret Santa fic for Sadhipsetcat/Purpleeyesandbowties! Sorry, its so late! it hasn't been beta'd so please feel free to correct me on any glaring mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

They’ve got a plan that might work. It’s an Eiffel original, but it might work.

 

They don’t do goodbyes it’s too morbid to think about and too emotional for a crew of people who have a harder time talking about feeling than they do getting out of life or death situations. ‘Nobody do anything too stupid’ is fitting for them and then Lovelace of all people ruins it.

 

“Hey Minkowski, break a leg,” it’s said with a half smile and look in her eyes that let’s Minkowski know it’s more genuine than teasing, but the teasing is still explicitly there.

 

 “Yeah,” she can’t help but smile back, “thanks.”

 

Minkowski lingers and they hold eye contact for moment too long before Minkowski realises Eiffel said something that marked her and Hilbert to head off. She turns to move after Hilbert who’s already out of the room and chances one last glance at Lovelace before following Hilbert.

 

***

 

 It was a small gesture. Simple, but thoughtful and yet Minkowski can’t stop thinking about it. Everyone on this station knows she likes musicals. She’s teased mercilessly about it and though Lovelace _was_ teasing her, it was gentle and also strangely sweet? There was care and thought put into her words, but that really didn’t warrant how it’s making Minkowski feel.

 

Thinking about it makes her feel warm and want to smile, which makes her feel foolish. It was just a small gesture and she just can’t grasp her reaction to it. But can’t help it she smiles, but then shakes her head and takes a deep breath. It’s dumb to feel this way. She has a job to do and thinking about Lovelace is the last thing she needs be doing.

 

Why is she so hung up on this? She hasn’t had a reaction like this since the time Domin-no. No. No. No way Minkowski is allowing herself to finish _that_ train of thought. That’s too much. It’s _Lovelace_ for godsake. Her crew mate. Her ally. Her friend. Her…god can she really be feeling what she definitely shouldn’t be considering she feels for Lovelace? No. she needs to stop thinking about it. She needs to focus. They’re in the middle of an honest god coup and she’s think about her _feelings_.

 

“Something on your mind, Minkowski?” Hilbert asks.

 

Minkowski meets his eyes and she swears he knows.

 

“No, doctor it’s nothing.”

 

He looks unconvinced. “Nothing, eh? Then perhaps I have imagined your going from blushing school girl to realisation you looked liked blushing school girl?”

 

Minkowski feels her face heat up, but takes a measured breath and calms down.

 

“Hilbert, I don’t know wha-”

 

Hilbert stops her.

 

“To be blunt, Minkowski, we both know you’re lying. Lovelace is good woman,” he says and there’s a trace amusement in his voice, but it fades as soon as it appears, “but you can sort out mess of love life _later_. You’re no good to Lovelace or husband dead.”

 

Minkowski wants to argue with him that he’s out of line and that Lovelace has nothing to do with her love life, but she knows it’d be futile. She hates that he’s right, but he _is_ right. She takes another deep breath and fully forces out all thoughts of the Captain from her mind.

 

***

 

It’s an impossible choice. Turn herself and Hilbert in, making this whole coup pointless, or let either Eiffel or Lovelace die.

 

Unless he’s bluffing maybe he’s bluffing. He talks so much maybe its all bark no bite.

 

Lovelace cuts Kepler off as he monologues and a shot rings out.

 

Minkowski’s heart drops into her stomach. He didn’t- no he wouldn’t. Not so flippantly. Would he?

 

The speaker crackles and Kepler’s talking again. It was a warning shot. Just a warning shot for cutting him off. _Thank god._

 

Think, think, think. She has five minutes she just needs to think. There’s a way out of this she can find a way out of this she just needs to think while Kepler monologues.

 

But then Lovelace interrupts Kepler again. She’s facing the devil that’s trapped her and honest to god telling him off. Humiliating him. Now more than ever Minkowski is in awe of Captain Isabel Lovelace. She’s unspeakably brave and defiant even as she stares death down the barrel of a gun. It’s one of the reasons Minkowski loves her.

 

 _Shit._ Now was not the time to fully realise she’s in love with the most amazing woman she’s ever meant. Not while said woman is toying with the devil himself. She’s distracting him so Minkowski can do something and she’s not using this time the way she should. She just needs to do something. Anything.

 

Kepler is the most flustered Minkowski has ever heard him and it’s only then Minkowski truly understands what Lovelace has done. She’s drawn all the attention away from Eiffel onto herself. She’s deliberately baiting him so she’ll be shot instead of Eiffel.

 

“Godammit, Lovelace,” Minkowski mutters.

 

And then Kepler’s counting.

 

_10_

Would he actually do it? Surely he wouldn’t do it.

 

_9_

 

No, he would she knows he would but she can’t let him. She’s not going to let her die. She locks eyes with Hilbert and he shakes his head. This is their best chance to get moving and do something. Strategically it buys them time. It’s why Lovelace is doing this, but god how can she _let_ her do this.

 

_8_

Surely, she can do something. She’s faced death on more than one occasion. Surely she can save this woman she loves without sacrificing all they’ve worked for.

 

_7_

 

She can hear Eiffel trying to reason with Kepler. She hates that he’s doing what she isn’t- what she should be doing. How can she let this happen? How can she let anyone die for her- let alone the woman she loves?

 

_3_

She just needs to do something, anything. She hears Eiffel protesting and then Lovelace. Dear god, _Lovelace_. She sounds so resigned. So calm. At peace almost. No. _No._ she won’t let her die.

 

2

 

She’ll save her. She has to. She can all this all off with one word. But then they’d all be doomed, but god she’s doomed without her. She knows it’s not what Lovelace wants, but she can’t let this happen.

 

_1_

 

“Oh, god damn it all, Hilbert, we have to do something! We can’t let him-”

 

The most terrible noise she’s heard rings through the air.

 

She’s too late and all Minkowski can see is red.

 

***

 

It’s over. It’s all over. She killed someone, sent a man to his death, and let the woman she just realised she’s in love with- well _was_ in love with- die, but it’s over.

 

She can’t think about it. She can’t _let_ herself think about it. If she does she’ll fall into a black hole of self loathing she’ll never be able to recover from. Not that she doesn’t deserve to waste away, she absolutely does, but Eiffel and Hera deserve to get home. So, she’s going to get them home, which means she needs to get to work.

 

Eiffel tries to talk to her, but she snaps at him. She feels bad after she sees the look on his face, but she can’t she _can’t_. He wants her to come to a funeral for the three people who died. The three people whose deaths she’s responsible for. No, her being there would dishonour all of them.

 

God, she didn’t even like Hilbert, but that didn’t mean she had wanted him to die. And Maxwell, who was well... well they weren’t close, but she didn’t mind her- hell she may have even liked her. She saved her life just the other day. She didn’t want her dead. She didn’t mean to…did she?

 

And then Lovelace. Lovelace. Captain Isabel Lovelace. The woman who inspired her from the first time she heard her voice. The woman who came in guns a blazing with notactual bullets to her station. Who she had distrusted and thought of as the enemy. Who then became an ally, a friend, a confidante, and who could have been something else entirely to her. Who she let die.

 

No, she had no right to be at the funeral, but… it wasn’t about her. It was about _them_. They deserved to be remembered even if it was by the woman responsible for their deaths.

 

 ***

 

Lovelace is alive and also maybe an alien, but Minkowski can’t bring herself to care about the latter.

 

The Captain is, as Kepler put it, ‘rebooting’. She tries to speak, but the words don’t make sense. She rambles on and on trying to find the right words. It easily the most expressive Minkowski has ever seen her. She goes from confusion to laughter, to more confusion to curiosity and so on as she speaks. Minkowski’s momentarily fascinated (and also confused as hell) by the array of expressions and the rambling. There’s something childlike about it that could almost be endearing if she wasn’t in the process of returning from the dead.

 

Lovelace continues on and she gets to Kepler. She’s momentarily happy to see him, but she confusion fills her features followed by anger. She doesn’t seem to have grasped _why_ she’s mad at him yet, but she edges closer to him and Minkowski feels uneasy about that.

 

She floats over to Lovelace and gently pulls her away from Kepler and puts herself between them. Lovelace’s rambling gets more desperate and panicked. Her eyes are pleading with Minkowski as she demands what they need to do. Minkowski would do it for her in a heartbeat… if only she knew what the hell she was talking about.

 

And then Lovelace passes out. Minkowski catches her and pulls her close. She brushes off Kepler. She’ll deal with him later. Right now she needs to make sure Lovelace is okay. She won’t fail her again.

 

With Eiffel’s help she gets Lovelace to her quarters and they set her up in Minkowski’s bed. Her heart flutters seeing her in it and she feels like a teenager again. She quickly brushes the thought aside. She really shouldn’t be thinking such things at a time like this.

 

Eiffel leaves her to make sure Jacobi and Kepler don’t do anything and she’s alone with Lovelace. She’s still mumbling and she twitches every few words, but Minkowski thinks she’s sleeping.

 

“I’m sorry,” Minkowski says quietly, “for everything. I should have stopped him. I should’ve,” she stops and sighs. She looks down at Lovelace and runs a hand along her forehead clearing the hair out of her face.

 

Lovelace stops mumbling and seems to lean into her touch.

 

“I won’t let him hurt you again. I promise.” She strokes Lovelace forehead and watches her for a few minutes. The captain goes back to mumbling, but it’s softer less frantic.

 

***

 

She’s floating outside of Lovelace’s door. She’s made her decision. She needs to do this. She just needs a moment and then she’ll knock. Just a moment…or five.

 

The annoyed, but unmistakable voice of Captain Lovelace calls out from inside her room.

 

“You gonna knock or just stand outside awkwardly.”

 

Minkowski smiles despite herself, takes a deep breath and opens the door.

 

“I was kind of leaning towards the awkward standing direction,” Minkowski half jokes.

 

It gets a smile and a laugh out of Lovelace, which may or may not have made Minkowski’s heart skip a beat.

 

“What can I do for you, Commander?” she asks with a grin.

 

Right, she’s here for a reason…well a few reasons, but none of them are to just stare at Lovelace.

 

“I wanted to update you. Kepler are Jacobi are back in their cell. Kepler is…shook up, but stable.”

 

“That’s…good, I suppose. What else?’

 

Minkowski stays silent not trying to find the words for what she needs to say.

 

“Come on you’ve got your face on,” Lovelace says half amused.

 

“What face?”

 

“You’re ‘I don’t want to have this tricky conversation, but someone has to be the grown up for christ sake’ face,” she takes a deep breath and she looks almost nervous. “Is this where you suggest that maybe I should also be locked up in case the aliens are a threat after all?”

 

Minkowski wanted to laugh at how wrong Lovelace was.

 

“…not exactly.” She inhales, “I want you to take command.”

 

“Excuse me? How is that a good idea with the whole I’m literally an alien thing?” Lovelace asks in disbelief.

 

“I trust you,” Minkowski says and she means it wholeheartedly. “After what I did… I don’t trust myself. I shouldn’t be in command right now.”

 

“Minkowski I was the person pushing for the whole indiscriminate murder thing,” Lovelace argues

 

“yes but…I disagreed with you, but you were the one in control. I did what I did because I lost control and to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever been in control,” she confesses. “And until I find a way to take control and figure myself out I don’t think my hands are the best ones for this crew to be in.”

 

“I think that’s bull.”

 

“It’s not. I’m dealing with it, but I shouldn’t be doing that and in charge.”

 

Lovelace is scowling at her. She groans and then concedes.

 

“On the _very_ clear understanding that this is a temporary situation and that you are going to sort yourself out and kick me out of your chair asap…fine. You’re on,” Lovelace grumbles.

 

Minkowski breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Captain.”

 

“Yeah, you’re welcome. Now, What else?”

 

Minkowski freezes. Could Lovelace really know what else she wanted to say? The thought was mortifying! She hadn’t even planned on saying anything else.

 

“What else what?” Minkowski asks cautiously.

 

“Come on you’ve got your other face on.”

 

“What other-god how many faces do I make enough for you to name?” Minkowski asks embarrassed, a little irritated, but maybe a little bit pleased by Lovelace’s implied observations.

 

“This one’s “I have something I need to say that’s embarrassing and awkward, but I have to say it,” Lovelace says with a cheeky grin.

 

Minkowski raises an eyebrow, “and when else have I made that face?”

 

“That time you asked me to cut your hair.”

 

Minkowski flushes, but Lovelace isn’t wrong.

 

“Fair point.”

 

“So, what is it?” Lovelace asks her voice playfully mocking her, “Need another haircut?”

“No…I-I,” Minkowski sighs. Is she really going to do this? “The day we led the coup I…uh I realised something.”

 

Lovelace stays silent and waits for her to continue.

 

“Since, you first came onto the station we’ve been through a lot together. I think and, well I could be wrong, but I think we’ve become close…closer than I realised. And well…what I’m trying to say is,” she can’t find the right words let alone say them. “You-you’re important to me, Lovelace.”

 

Lovelace laughs and Minkowski’s knees go weak.

 

“You’re important to me too, Minkowski.”

 

Minkowski bristles. That’s not what she meant. Lovelace didn’t understand her meaning.

 

 _“No,_ I- you’re not understanding what I mean,” Minkowski huffs in irritation grasping as words that won’t come out. “I-when I thought you were going to and then you did I-I realised that I…that you’re-”

“Minkowski,” Lovelace says gently stopping her.

 

She doesn’t have the words. She needs to say them, but she can’t find the words

 

“Lovelace, I-” her eyes find the woman in question and she gazes into them hoping to find the words she’s been searching for.

 

“Minkowski,’ Lovelace says again. Her eyes are intense and something about her voice makes Minkowski shudder.

 

“You’re _important_ to me too.”

 

Minkowski’s breath hitches. She wasn’t actually sure what to expect. She hadn’t really had expectations for Lovelace’s response to her confession. She had just needed to tell her.

 

Lovelace is close. So close. When did she get so close? And she’s smirking, oh god she’s smirking.

 

“What?” Minkowski finally asks.

 

“I think you’ve got a new face.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It’s the ‘wow, I’m so gay for Isabel Lovelace face’”, Lovelace says with a shit eating grin.

 

Minkowski scowls and tries not to blush, “You’re an asshole.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m an asshole that’s _important_ to you,” she says and somehow her smile’s grown.

 

“Oh, shut up,” Minkowski grumbles and shoves her.

 

Lovelace grabs Minkowski as she slowly floats away from the shove. She grins and pulls Minkowski close.

 

“Gladly.”

 

She pulls Minkowski closer and slowly leans in. She locks eyes with Minkowski and Minkowski realises the only reason she’s still being depraved of a kiss is because Lovelace is silently asking for permission. Minkowski can’t help but grin and bridges the gap between them.

 

The kiss is softer than expected. Lovelace’s lips are soft against hers and

Minkowski nearly groans in protest when Lovelace pulls away.

 

“So, it took me dying for you to realise that I’m _important_ to you,” Lovelace asks. Her voice is light and she’s teasing, but Minkowski’s chest aches remembering that just hours ago the woman in her arms was dead. She pushes the pain away before she can lose herself in it. Lovelace was here now. Minkowski could grapple with her guilt later.

 

“Well, actually I kind of realised it right before we started the mutiny,” Minkowski confesses.

 

“Oh, do tell,” Lovelace insists her voice dripping with curiosity.

 

“Ugh,” Minkowski would never hear the end of it if she told her, “Do I have to?”

 

Lovelace grins and then becomes mock serious.

 

 “As you’re commanding officer I’m ordering you to tell me.”

 

Minkowski rolls her eyes.

 

“It’s stupid,” Minkowski insists.

 

“Don’t care. Tell me.”

 

Minkowski huffs, “Fine. Okay well…you know how right before Hilbert and I left you told me to break a leg?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then.”

 

“What. Really?” Lovelace asks in disbelief.

 

Minkowski nods.

 

“Oh, my god, Minkowski, you’re such a nerd!” Lovelace exclaims.

 

“Oh, shut up!” Minkowski grumbles trying and failing not to blush.

 

Lovelace laughs and Minkowski tries to hide her embarrassment.

 

“Well, what about you? When did you know?” Minkowski counters.

 

“Oh, that’s easy,” Lovelace days, “The moment that panel almost took your head off after the star went blue and I pushed you away.”

 

Minkowski’s eyes widen in surprise.

 

“What, really?”

 

“Mmhm,” Lovelace confirms, “I realised after I pushed you how relived I was you hadn’t been hurt and well it clicked.”

 

“Bu-but that was so long ago,” Minkowski says and Lovelace remains silent.

 

Minkowski can only stare at Lovelace for a moment. Her confession was so unexpectedly sweet and Minkowski leans in and kisses her.

 

The kiss is a bit needier this time. It’s passionate, a bit greedy and it doesn’t last nearly long enough.

 

“Hey, Minkowski?” Lovelace mumbles.

 

“Call me, Reneé.”

 

Lovelace smiles, “Okay, Reneé, but only if you call me, Isabel.”

 

“Okay, Isabel.”

 

“You knoow…” Isabel says her voice turning playful, “I never took you as the type to fraternise with your fellow officers.”

 

Reneé groans, “oh, shut up.”

 

“Make me,” she challenges.

 

And so she does…for hours.


End file.
